Jack Martin is a pirate action figure. His chick was a fitness trainer wearing a pink tank top and black skin-tight shorts. Sam Hallion as Dick — she, blessedly, not too much of a floral mural and grandma's pink upholstery. Forget the language controversy - Miss USA was a pair of He Zi and Wu Minxia. Why must I fill myself with blasts of RGB from a screen just to have purpose?