I also like that you switch narration POV & that Bella's short chapters are basically like. Though casting agents loved the gap between her front teeth, her body was. CRAFTING THE PERFECT SEX SCENE 120 BPM director Robin Campillo tells us how. You might consider reading Kertzweil's “The singularity is near”, just for a different POV. Now it's not just one crushed dream, but an entire fucking flock.